One of the most important aspects of a wedding has nothing to do with the dress, the flowers or the centerpieces. While all of those things are just that – things, it’s the words that you speak to one another while exchanging your vows that matter most. Now while many couples choose to stick to tradition and repeat their promises after the wedding officiant, there is an increasing number of couples who are choosing to write their own vows instead.
If you and your future spouse have made the decision to go with the second option, you may be a bit nervous – which is normal. While thinking about the words you want to say, remember that this is a time to express how you feel in your own way. However, there are certain things that probably shouldn’t be said in front of your friends and family members. Check out these tips for exchanging vows:
Don’t make your vows too long. It’s understandable that in the moment, you will want to express anything and everything that you love about the person standing in front of you. Keep in mind however that you have a lifetime to show them how you feel. For now, try to keep your vows limited to one to three minutes long.
Keep the playfulness to a minimum. There should absolutely be some personal jokes and cuteness involved in your vow exchange, but it’s important to remember that your parents and grandparents will also be listening to these words. If it seems like it would be too intimate for anyone else’s ears and may offend someone, try to think of another way to express yourself.
Bring extra copies of the vows with you. You may be extremely confident speaking the words in an empty room but it may be a different story when you get in front of a crowd. This is especially true when you consider the fact that many couples get swept up in the moment, knowing that the moment they become husband and wife is actually happening. Grooms should have a copy of his vows in his own jacket and one in his best man’s pocket. Brides, keep your copy with the maid of honor.
For the most part, writing your own vows is a sort of “anything goes” situation and you should feel entitled to express yourself in your own way. Just make sure that the words you choose are appropriate for family members to hear and you should be good to go!